OneManOneCity - Musings from the Center of the Universe

OneManOneCity - Musings from the Center of the Universe

Archive for the ‘Ramblings’ Category

Welcome Oliver Nolan

Wednesday, March 11th, 2009
Oliver Nolan Craigmiles

Oliver Nolan Craigmiles

I would just like to send a belated “Welcome to the World” to little Oliver Nolan, my nephew born 4 pounds 13 ounces (and about six weeks ealry) to my sister in Portland, Oregon. I think he looks a little like an alien here, but i think that about all babies (especially pre-mies). 

So, I’m an uncle. I feel old.

The day Oliver was born, I spoke to Adam (my brother-in-law) on the phone while I was waiting for takeout in a Thai restaurant during my lunch hour. He described how well my sister my did in labor and how Oliver was fully healthy. He seemed generally excited and proud.

After listening to his stories and extending my “Congratulations on creating life”, I really didn’t know what else to say. What else can you say? It’s such a grand moment, that it completely dwarfs anything going on in my own life. 

I mean, what do I counter with: “Um, I’m pretty psyched about this Pad Thai Shrimp I ordered”, or “So, you wouldn’t believe this woman yelled at me for yawning on the subway”, or “I watched my girlfriend’s cats lick each other for about 15 minutes straight the other day”. On second thought, maybe it wasn’t the “grandiosity” of the moment that left me speechless, maybe I just need a more exciting life.

Anyway, congratulations Adam and Nicole on that whole, “creating another human” business. You won this round in the conversation wars.

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I’ll take a six inch Italian

Sunday, February 15th, 2009

I occasionally get a sandwich from Subway for lunch since there is one right next to my office (and that “5-dollar foot long” has been drilled into my head so much, I feel drawn to the store). Also, it’s getting harder and harder to get a cheap sandwich in manhattan, so the $5-dollar deal is pretty reasonable, despite the fact that the sandwiches aren’t that great.

Anyway, so I was waiting in line to get my sandwich and a flamingly gay guy (not that there’s anything wrong with that) in front of me orders his sandwich:

Guy: “I’ll take a meatball sub.”
Subway Employee: “Footlong?”
Guy: “No a six-incher is all I can handle.”

I had to summon every last ounce of my willpower to avoid laughing out loud (or LOL’ing as the kids call it). Neither of them even cracked a smile.

Then the girl immediately behind me (who was wearing way too much make up, a matching tracksuit, large hoop earrings, and was way too tan for winter) orders a “6-inch Italian” and starts hysterically laughing. Thank you! At least someone else realizes how ridiculous these orders are. Also, based on her appearance, something tells me that wasn’t the first time she made that order.

Subway: where penis jokes abound.

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Holy Crap - a plane crashed into the Hudson

Sunday, January 18th, 2009

First, I can’t believe a plane crashed into the Hudson river. Second, I can’t believe everyone survived. I was away for an extended weekend, so I missed all of the media coverage, but this a freaking amazing story. It’s one of the rare times in my life that I’m craving more media coverage of an event.

Personally, I always thought that the flotation devices on large airplanes were purely for show (i.e. to give the passengers something to do as they plummet to their deaths) but apparently planes can land on water. Who knew? Well, I guess that pilot knew. Are more crashing airplanes going to attempt water landings in the future? I really don’t know the stats, but it seems whenever a plane crashes in the middle of a cornfield, people don’t walk away from it. Maybe water is the way to go (if you’re crashing, of course, you might want to aim for an airport if your engines are still intact, since passengers seem to prefer it).

It also probably helped that the plane crashed in the Hudson River next to Manhattan, as opposed to a random river in the middle of nowhere. There are about ten different ferries on the Hudson at any given moment and that really sped up the plane evacuation. So make a note, if your plane is going down, mention to the pilot to crash in a highly trafficked river.

The crazy thing is that this story should probably make me less worried, because all of the people survived. But it definitely makes me more worried. Stupid geese.

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Took a rushhour bus to New Jersey, and was reminded why I refuse to live there.

Thursday, January 8th, 2009

The bus ride itself, to my brother’s place in North Bergen NJ, was only about 25 minutes (which I guess isn’t exactly quick considering it’s only a few miles away). But taking a subway to get to the Port Authority, then fighting through the rush hour crowds, then waiting in line to buy a ticket (and switching lines because a ticket machine breaks), then waiting in line for the bus, and then finally crowding onto the bus, every seat taken and people standing in the aisle. Aaarrgghhh!!! It just makes you insane.

People who visit New York City and people who live in New Jersey or Long Island (and occasionally come into the City), always ask me, “How can you live there, it’s so hectic and chaotic? I can never do that.” And the answer is: It’s a lot less hectic and chaotic if you actually live here. My commute to work is 25 minutes door-to-door. I don’t have to drive a car or sit in traffic. I walk to a subway, bring a book with me (or grab a free newspaper) and read on the train. I can order delivery from literally hundreds of restaurants (actually, one of the more stressful parts of my day is figuring out what to eat for dinner every night). It’s something that I noticed about a month after I first moved to the City. Everything slows down once you live here.

What most people don’t realize is that a large portion of the exhaustion, stress, and frustration of “Visiting New York City” comes from the “Visiting” aspect and not the “New York City” aspect. When you just visit/commute here, everything is hectic because:

  1. It’s a pain to get in and out of Manhattan.
  2. You don’t have a place to relax nearby, so you’re constantly on your feet, walking around.
  3. You tend to go to annoyingly-crowded tourist areas such as Times Square and Rockefeller Center (either by choice, in the case of  tourists, or as part of your commute).

When you actually live here, all 3 of those things go away. Everything slows down. If you’re in a stressful situation, you’re only a few minutes away from sitting on your couch and watching bad TV.

I’m not going to say that New York City life is without stress (it’s alarming how much less patient I am since I moved here), but it’s a great place to live once you get here.

Plus, New Jersey smells.

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